


All Too Well

by Grannahreadsenochian



Series: Dean and Y/N, Y/N and Dean [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Angst, Autumn, Baby Pictures, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Bonding, Break Up, Cheating, Cheating Dean, Coffee, Coffee Shops, Cuddling & Snuggling, Driving, Drunk Dancing, Drunk Dean, Drunkenness, F/M, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Long-Distance Relationship, Meeting the Parents, Minor Character Death, Reader-Insert, Series, Sickness, Songfic, Teasing, Timestamp, Winter, all too well, drinking away feelings, photo albums, post-college
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2017-03-16
Packaged: 2018-05-14 11:10:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5741524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grannahreadsenochian/pseuds/Grannahreadsenochian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and you went to college together, but then grew apart. When you reconnect at a dinner that Sam and Jess have, a little fireside chat turns into something more. But life makes love hard and sometimes you mess up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Red Scarves and Warm Welcomes

**Author's Note:**

> You really want to feel this fic? Download the InteractiveFics chrome extension, it replaces y/n with your name. on any website.

The cold winter wind bit your face as you walked up the path to charming house with the red door. You knocked and heard a faint “door’s open” before letting yourself in. Warmth surrounded you as you closed the door. You walked into the house, enjoying shelter from the frigid wind. You hung up your jacket and favorite red scarf and moved further into the house.

“Sam? Jess?” you called.

“Just a minute,” you heard Jess’ familiar voice coming from kitchen.

Suddenly there were shrieks and giggles resounding through the house from the upstairs. You looked up just in time to see Dean chasing Sam and Jess’s daughter, Leah, down the stairs.

“I’m gonna catch you!” he cried, scooping the little girl up in his arms as he kneeled at the bottom of the stairs.

“No!” Leah laughed as Dean started tickling her.

You looked on the adorable moment with a grin. Dean was giving Leah a break from the tickling when he looked up and noticed you in the foyer. You breath hitched when you looked into Dean’s eyes and you could feel the butterflies in your stomach flying around rapidly when he grinned at you.

“Dean!” you said, returning the smile and walking over to them.

Dean set Leah down, “Y/N,” he rose from the floor and enveloped you in a hug.

The hug did absolutely nothing to stop the butterflies in your stomach, neither did pine and leather scent Dean always smelled like.

He pulled away from you, “It’s good to see you.”

“You too,” you said, keeping your butterflies in check.

“Aunty Y/N,” Leah cried, clinging to your legs.

You laughed and bent down to face her, “And how’s my little munchkin today?” you asked, poking her in the stomach playfully before giving her a hug.

“Uncle Dean was torturing me!” she cried wide eyed to you. Her chubby little arms were wrapped around your neck and you were almost nose to nose.

“Well, that wasn’t very nice, was it?” you asked laughing.

Leah shook her head vehemently.

“In my defense, you were laughing,” Dean chuckled.

You laughed and stood up, you opened your mouth to say something, but were cut off by Jess walking out of the kitchen.

“Y/N,” she cried wrapping her arms around you in hug, “I’ve missed you so much!”

“I miss you too!” you said hugging her tighter.

She let go of you and looked you up and down, “You look beautiful as always,” she smiled.

“As do you!” you giggled.

“It’s been so long,” Jess said taking off her apron.

“It seems like just yesterday we were graduating and now here you are married and a daughter,” you said in disbelief.

Jess laughed, “Speaking of which, where is my husband,” she said looking around.

“Right here!” Sam called walking down the hallway and coming to meet them.

He gave you a tight hug before asking how you’d been.

“I’m doing great,” you said, “really great.”

“Why don’t we get you to elaborate on that over some beef stew,” Jess smiled, ushering everyone away from the door and to the dinner table.

 

Over dinner you filled Sam and Jess in on how your life had been the past year. You would occasionally think you saw Dean looking at you from across the table, but whenever you turned to look he was looking face down into in bowl (which you noted had been filled several times). You talked to Sam and Jess about the their lives as easily as you three had in college, even though you hadn’t seen them year who was now 2 and half (when you questioned her, she gave you a face that reminded you very much of Sam’s bitchface and said that it mattered a lot because she was a big girl now).

As the night grew later the five of you retired to the living room. Leah sat on her mom’s lap and slowly drifted off to sleep.

“I better get her in bed,” Jess whispered.

“I’ll go too,” Sam said, help Jess off the couch.

When they had gone it was quiet between you and Dean, both of you started intently at the fire in the hearth that had started to die down.

Finally he broke the silence, “It’s really good to see you again,” Dean said, looking up and finding your eyes.

You felt the return of the butterflies and hoped the dim room hid you blush, “You too,” you said, “It’s still weird not seeing you guys everyday.”

“Yeah,” Dean sighed, “those were the days, right?”

You smiled, “Right.”

A moment passed before you spoke again, “Remember the night the night we graduated?” you asked

Dean’s face broke out into a broad grin, “More like, do I remember the whopper hangover the day after?” he chuckled.

“We did get pretty wasted.”

“I have never felt more like hell than I did that morning.”

You laugh.

“I do remember though,” Dean said, “you looked beautiful.”

His voice had trailed off at the end, almost like he hadn’t meant to say it out loud.

“Then, maybe it was just the alcohol,” he winked at you.

“Hey, now,” you said hitting his arm teasingly.

“No need for violence, I was only joking,” he said, putting his hands up in mock surrender.

“Good,” you say, “girl’s gotta get her compliments.”

You both laugh and fade into a comfortable silence, whatever awkwardness between you from not talking in so long is gone. All that’s left is the bond shared by close friends, that and your butterflies.

You sit there with Dean for a little while longer. Sam and Jess join you just in time to say goodbye.

“Don’t be a stranger!” Jess says as she pulls you into a tight hug.

“I won’t be!” you say smiling, “I promise.”

Sam wraps you in one of his bear hugs. When he lets you go, you see Dean waiting awkwardly to say goodbye. Sam looks at him and Dean gives him a look.

“It was great to see you again, Y/N,” Sam said with a warm smile, “hopefully see you again soon.”

“You too!” you smiled.

Sam led Jess away, he whispered something in her ear and you heard her gasp.

Dean nervously licked his lips, “So can _I_ see you again sometime?”

You blushed, “Yeah,” you said giving him a smile, “‘I’d like that a lot.”

You said your goodbyes and completely forgot about your red scarf hanging on the door.


	2. Asking For Too Much

_Nine Months Later_

“You sure this is what you want?” Dean asked doubtfully.

“Yes,” you got on your tiptoes and kissed his cheek, “it’s perfect.”

The two of you stood in a car dealership lot standing over a yellow Volkswagen Bug.

“Let’s give it a go” he said with a sigh.

Dean walked over to the salesman, an old friend of his from the shop, and got the keys. When he was back you reached for the keys, but he swung them away from your grasp.

“Woah, you got to drive here, it’s my turn,” he said with a chuckle.

You gave him a face and begrudgingly sat shotgun. Dean pulled out of the parking lot and started down the road. You flicked the radio on, turning it up as AC/DC poured out of the speakers.

 _“_ _And knocked me out and then you, Shook me all night long, You had me shakin' and you, Shook me all night long, Yeah you shook me, Well you took me”_

Dean and you belted out the familiar tune. Your singing dissolved into a fit of laughter when he tried to do an air guitar solo while driving. You took a mental picture of the moment, everything was perfect. Dean suddenly took another exit.

“Do you know where you’re going?” you asked, not recognizing your surroundings.

“Where’s your sense of adventure, Y/N,” he asked grabbing your hand and looking in your eyes.

You stared at him in wide eyed amazement, what did you do to deserve this?

“I have plenty sense of adventure,” you said, winking.

“Then let’s explore,” he replied.

The two of you drove until you until you found yourselves on a country road. Autumn leaves were falling and you had a sudden desire to roll down your window and breathe in the beautiful autumn scent. The cool air rushed by you, whipping your hair across face and making your eyes water. It didn’t matter that your mascara was about to start running, you stared at the beautiful countryside, covered in autumn leaves.

Dean watched you, smiling to himself.

You looked forward again only to realize Dean was about to go off the road, “Dean, look out!” you cried.

He swerved jerkily and got back on track.

“Please try not to kill me,” you chuckled breathlessly.

“I could never hurt you, even if I tried” Dean smiled.

* * *

 

_One Month Later_

A stack of photo albums lay on the worn dark cherry wood table.

“This, right here is Dean right before his first softball game,” Mary said with a smile, point to a picture of a young, chubby cheeked, little boy wearing a bright red and white uniform and grinning widely.

“Oh, look at you!” you cried, “you’re so cute there! What happened?”

Dean looked at your teasing face in mock offence.

“I think I’m adorable,” he said cheekily.

Mary and you burst into laughter.

She picked up another album, “Baby picture time,” she said smiling slyly.

“Mom, I thought you liked me,” Dean said blushing as page after page of a smiley round faced Dean in adorable baby costumes was turned.

You pointed to a picture of Sam and Dean in matching sailor outfits, “Oh my goodness!” you squealed, “This is amazing! You must’ve been at least fifteen in that!”

“I was fourteen!” Dean cried indignantly.

You collapsed in your chair with laughter.

Dean snatched the albums from the table, “That’s enough of that!” he shouted as he ran to put them away.

Later that night you were in bed. The ceiling still had glow-in-the-dark stars that gave off the faintest light. Dean had his arm around your waist and was tucked up behind you keeping you warm.

“I like Mary,” you whispered sleepily.

He petted your hair gently, “She likes you too,” he replied.

You turned around so you're facing him, almost nose to nose, “I like you,” you giggled.

“I like you too, Y/N,” Dean chuckled and kissed your forehead.

“I’m really happy I got to actually meet her in person before I  leave,” you said.

“I’m gonna miss you,” Dean whispered, “when will you be back?”

“I can’t come back until my dad gets better, he needs me.”

“I need you too, Y/N.”

“Dean, I need to make sure he gets better, if your mom was the one who was sick you’d go take care of her too.”

“I know,” Dean sighed, “It’s just that I can’t leave the shop to go see you and I don’t know when I’ll see you again.”

“You can call me whenever you need too, I’ll always pick up.”

“If you say so.”

“I do.”

Dean kissed you lightly on the lips, “Okay, we’d better get to sleep soon, you have an early flight to catch.”

* * *

 

_Six Weeks Later, Pennsylvania_

The hospital coffee burned your tongue, but you barely felt it. You held your dad’s hand as he slept. You heard your phone go off and quickly silence. A little notification pops up: _15 missed calls from Dean_

“He can wait a little bit,” you thought to yourself.

* * *

 

_Same Day, Kansas_

Dean brought his phone down from his ear. He hadn’t heard from you in three days. He blinked back tears that aren’t there. Even if you had picked up, he probably wouldn't have heard you over the loud music of the bar and he couldn’t hold a conversation in the drunken state he was in anyway. A pretty long haired brunette made her way towards him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no, I hope nothing happens.....


	3. A Masterpiece Torn

Three Weeks Later  
The level of amber liquid in your glass depleted quickly. You watched the light reflect in it through your clouded mind. You thought about your dad, all the things you never got to say before he died. You wondered if he really could hear you when he was lying unresponsive on his hospital bed. You poured yourself another glass and quickly drank it. The pain seemed to fade a little. His death wasn’t sudden, you’d been with him for the past two months and you knew he wasn’t going to last for much longer even before then. Still, the pain was more than you’d ever experienced. The night wore on and the full bottle’s level got lower and lower. Just like the alcohol, your pain seemed to lessen. You knew you shouldn’t be drinking away your emotions, but you couldn’t sleep and you didn’t want to disturb Dean while he slept. He needed it, he’d been working so hard so you two could buy a house together. His shop had been doing so well and he was so busy that he hadn’t been able to go the funeral. There you are thinking about your father again. A tear trickled down your cheek.

* * *

 

Dean slowly padded into the kitchen, his slippered feet made his steps quiet. He found you sitting slumped in a chair at the kitchen table.  
“Babe,” he rushed to your side, “come one, we gotta get you to bed.”  
“Dance with me,” you slurred  
He noticed the empty bottle of booze.  
“You need to lie down, not dance,” he said.  
“Dance with meeee,” you whined.  
“Alright, fine, I’ll dance with you,” he conceded.  
You clapped your hands with joy and then open the fridge, “We need a spotlight,” you said seriously.  
“You’re gonna use up all of our electricity,” he chuckled.  
“Worth it.” you said playfully as you stumbled back over to him.  
You leaned against him and placed your hand on his shoulder. He clasped your other hand in his and held your waist. You rocked back and forth bathed in the light pouring through the window and the open refrigerator. Dean hummed softly and you could feel the vibrations through his chest.  
“I love you,” you whispered softly, in a haze as your eyelids began to close.  
“I know you do,” Dean said kissing the top of your head.  
“Say it back,” you say sleepily, “you never-” The alcohol was taking it’s toll. You were too tired and too drunk to continue.  
Dean didn’t respond, he just held you tighter. You dozed off a few seconds later. He picked you up and carried you upstairs to bed.

* * *

 

One Week Later  
It was late, you had just gotten back home after a long day at work.  
“Dean,” you called into your apartment shutting the door hard, “Dean, I need to talk to you right now.”  
“What’s up, babe?” he asked walking downstairs.  
He had a smile on his face, it broke your heart.  
“I need to ask you something.”  
“okay, shoot.”  
“I ran into Jo today at the store and we ended up going out to lunch to catch up and she-” your voice caught in your throat, “she said she saw you leave The Roadhouse with another woman when I was in Pennsylvania. Is this true?”  
Dean looked shocked for a moment and then turned his face away from you. He was silent.  
“Dean,” your voice quavered with tears or fury, you didn’t know, “Did you sleep with her?”  
“Y/N, I’m so sorry,” Dean reached out for you.  
“Don’t touch me!” You recoiled from his touch and you ran up the stairs, tears stung your eyes. You could hear Dean following you and he caught you at the top.  
“Let me explain, please,” Dean cried gripping your arms.  
“Explain what?” you spat, “How you slept with every skank that was in the bar while I was away taking care of my sick dad.”  
“You were gone for two months and I got drunk, it was only once, I promise,” Dean protested, “I’m so sorry, babe.”  
“Sorry doesn’t fix it,” you shouted tearing out of his grasp, “You betrayed me when I needed you most.”  
“You weren’t talking to me Y/N,” Dean’s voice shook with emotion, “I fucked up, I missed you.”  
“Don’t try to pin this on me, Dean.”  
“I’m not! I’m just trying to explain wh-”  
“There’s no explaining this! You cheated!” The words you spoke sank in, “You fucking cheated, Dean. I was taking care of my dad - who died two weeks ago if you somehow forgot - and you went and slept with some girl!”  
“It wasn’t like that,” Dean started, “I-”  
“Just shut the hell up, Dean. I hate you!”  
You turned and ran into your room.  
“Y/N wait,” Dean pleaded.  
You slammed the door and locked it. You slid down to the floor and held your head in your hands. What did you do to deserve this?

* * *

 

The next morning your eyes were red and sore and your voice hurt. You washed the tears from your face and took a shower. Hot water and suds flowed down the drain, you watched them numbly. After getting dressed you quickly packed a bag. When you opened the door you were surprised to see Dean sleeping on the floor, only a few feet away. He squinted his eyes open and when he saw you he was instantly awake.  
“Y/N, we can fix this,” he started and then he noticed your bag, he opened his mouth to speak.  
“We can’t fix this,” you said stiffly, you couldn’t feel anything after last night. It felt like someone had pulled out all your insides. The solid ground you thought you had, had disintegrated without warning. “I need to leave.”  
You walked down the stairs.  
“Y/N, wait!” Dean cried out, “I love you.”  
“I can’t do this, Dean,” you whispered as tears fell from your eyes.  
You ran out the door and to your car. You sobbed as you sat in the driver’s seat, holding your head in your hands. Then you wiped your eyes and drove away


	4. Break Me Like A Promise

_ One Week Later _

_ “Y/N, please,” _ Dean pleaded, his voice sounded so hurt.

You had finally picked up your phone after a week of avoiding Dean’s calls.

“Dean, I could never trust you again,” your voice threatened to break, but you forced yourself to  stay steady. 

“You can, I’ll do anything to make you trust me again. Just come back home tonight at 8 and we can talk about it.”

“Dean,” it was painful for you to say his name.

“We can figure this out.”

“We can’t. I’m sorry.”

“I’ll wait for you, Y/N, all night. I’m not going to hurt you again.”

“Dean,” your voice broke as a tear rolled down your cheek, “I can’t trust you anymore.”

“Y/N, wait-”

Dean’s voice was clipped off as you hung up the phone. 

You pulled your blanket tighter around you and sobbed.

 

_ Five Hours Later  _

You found yourself in your car. Being away from Dean hurt too much, he was your best friend and you loved him. After what he did you still loved him. 

Maybe we can fix this, he says it was just once and he was drunk, your thoughts were racing through your head.

You pulled into the familiar driveway and walked up the house. Your heart pounded in your chest as you unlocked the front door. It was dark inside the house, your house, the house you shared with Dean. Your red scarf from all that time ago hung on the wall, the flowers he had given you at the airport were wilted in their vase. You walked to the end of the stairs.

“Dean,” you called softly, it was late after all, sometime past one in the morning.

You called him again to no answer.

The stairs creaked as you walked up. You were about to knock on the door when a scream startled you. You whirled around to see a woman standing in the doorway of the bathroom across from the bedroom. She had wavy brown hair, eyes to match, and dark skin. She was wearing one of Dean’s t-shirts and you could clearly tell that she wasn’t wearing anything else.

Dean burst out of the room in only his boxers, “What’s wrong?” he asked before quickly realizing what happened, “Shit.”

“Dean,” your voice was quiet and shook from anger, “would this happen to be the “just once” girl?”

“Y/N-” Dean started.

“Don’t,” you held up your hand, “I came here tonight to try and work things out with you, I somehow thought I could trust you again. Don’t worry, I learned my lesson.”

“Um, who are you?” the brunette asked, trying to pull down the shirt and simultaneously cover her chest.

She looked confused and awkward, you almost felt bad for her.

“Dean’s ex-girlfriend. But don’t worry, I’m leaving. You can have him back now.” you turned to watch down the stairs, tears stinging your eyes. You felt like the air had been knocked out of you. Twice now, Dean had broken your trust. 

Dean grabbed your arm, “Y/N, stop. Please,” he begged.

You stopped, but refused to look him in the eye.

“Lisa, I think you should go,” Dean said softly to the brunette who had a name now.

“O-Okay,” she stuttered running back into the room to grab her clothes

Dean and you waited in silence until she reemerged a few seconds later wearing a low cut black tee and buttoning her jeans.

“Bye, Dean,” she said avoiding his eyes, she reached out to touch your arm, but thought better of it, “I’m sorry.”

You nodded stiffly and watched her leave. You felt for her, Dean had wrapped you both up in his web.

“Y/N, let me explain.” Dean whispered.

You walked downstairs and sat on the couch, he faced you. You could see from his eyes that he was in pain and desperate. He talked at you for what seemed like hours. You barely heard anything, you felt numb. You couldn’t take it anymore, every word and promise he spoke to you was a stab in your gut. You caught little glimpses of his words. Bullshit like, “I’m sorry” and “you left me alone” and “it won’t happen again”

Finally he was done.

“Give us another chance, Y/N.”

You looked at him, his eyes were searching your’s, looking for an answer. You met his gaze with nothing but pain and longing. But you couldn’t look at him for more than a second without thinking about how he’d hurt you and lied to you. It was impossible.

“I can’t, Dean,” your voice was tight.

You got up to leave and as you put your hand on the doorknob Dean’s voice stopped you.

“I’ve loved you for so long, Y/N, even though I could never say it, I loved you. I still love you.”

You walked outside, a sob on your lips.


	5. Timestamp 1: You Remember It All Too Well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good news in the notes down below

_ Six Months Later _

    You were moving again. It seems like you’re always doing that with your new job. The movers were going to be here in an hour. You were in a mad rush to finish packing. In your hurry you forgot about the little closet by your room. The movers were going to be there in five minutes. You glanced around your apartment, all boxed up, and gasped at your stupidity. You yanked the door open in a hurry.  A cloud of dust greeted you, inside were a dozen or so cardboard boxes. You pulled them all out and started opening them to examine contents. Old clothes, some baby pictures, old college notebooks, and other random items you had held onto over the years surrounded you. As you closed your third box, a labeled one caught your eye.

**Dean**

    It was your Dean box, the tape was still there untouched. You had never opened it. There was a quick stab of pain in your heart, but it didn’t hurt like before. You could still breathe. After debating about whether it would be worth it to open the box, curiousity got the better of you. Your scissors tore through the tape easily. Right there at the top was a picture of the two of you sitting on your brand new yellow bug. You took it in your hand and smiled faintly, you still had your yellow car. You remembered how much pain Dean gave you for it, it was such a loud color and not “cool guy” at all. The rest of the box was filled with similar items. The dress he gave you to wear for your first anniversary, some old rock tapes, your red hat (you could never find the matching scarf), and then finally you pulled out a plaid shirt from the bottom of the box. You held it close trying to breathe it, but his scent was already gone. It wasn’t a surprise, Dean hardly ever wore it again after you discovered it. You pressed the flannel to your face and a tear rolled down your cheek. 

_     “Nice shirt, Grace,” Dean commented with an eyebrow raised. _

_     “Don’t you think?” You giggled turning around in a circle. _

_     “Yeah, that’s why I bought it,” he laughed wrapping his arms around your waist. _

_     “Well I think it looks better on me,” you teased. _

_     “It sure does,” he kissed your forehead, “but you know where it would look best?” _

_     You looked up at him quizzically. _

_    “The floor,” he winked. _

_     You laughed into his kiss.  _

_     Knock knock knock _

    A sharp knock at the door woke you from you memories.

    You wiped your eyes and threw the flannel back in the box.

    “Door’s open!”

* * *

 

    Dean sat on the floor of his bedroom, he held a red scarf in his hands. He could still see you walking in that day, cheeks red from the cold, eyes bright. He’d known right then and there that he’d love you forever. Grace and Dean, Dean and Grace. The screen from his phone shone brightly, his thumb hovered over your name for just a second longer than usual, but this time he actually pressed it. He listened to the number dialing and waited.

_     “This number is no longer in service” _

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just loved writing in this AU so I decided to carry this story on to another fic. I feel like this particular one is at a close storywise so I'll be finishing this fic up now, but there will be another series about this couple. A chapter should be up next week. Thanks to everyone who read this!  
> Also a big thank to my wonderful friend Hacereadsenochian for helping me with this series! Go check out her stuff, it's great!
> 
> EDIT: The new series will be a summer series starting in July. I might put up a preview sometime soon, but no chapters until July.


	6. Timestamp 2: Forget Why I Needed To

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot believe I'm opening this story up again, but I can't leave this AU alone. Hope you enjoy the new entries.

Four years later:  
You stood in line at the coffee shop, waiting impatiently for the line to move forward. You never understood the people who would order their elaborate coffee drinks in the morning. In the end you were all here for the same thing, that little magic jolt of alertness that would get you through the day. The line slowly crawled until you were next, it was just then that you heard him.  
“Y/N?”  
Your eyes shot open. You'd recognize that voice anywhere, you didn't even need to see him.  
“Dean?”  
You swirled around and your eyes met his. They sparkled green as always but there was a cloud of uncertainness that surrounded him.  
You tried to brighten up the sudden but very palpable awkwardness that settled over the both of you.  
“Long time no see,” you managed to strangle out, “how have you been?”  
“Uh-good,” he mumbled, “good.”  
The awkwardness set back in.  
After an uncomfortable amount of silence he added, “Sam and uh-Jess. They're good too. They've got two little monsters running around now and one on the way.”  
“Wow,” you chuckled, “you must be a busy uncle.”  
“Yeah...yeah,” he trailed off, “so what have you been up to?”  
“I took over my dad’s business. So I'm living up in Pennsylvania now, I came down here just to grab my last box and then I’m off this afternoon.”  
“You’ve been busy too then,” he attempted a chuckle, “You're running the buisness all by yourself?”  
“Oh, no. I have Matthew,” your voice trailed off.  
Dean gave a valiant attempt to hide his shock.  
“I'm happy for you two,” he gave a forced smile.  
“Thanks,” you looked up at him painfully.  
“Well it was nice seeing again, glad we could catch up, wish you guys the best.”  
“You too, Dean,” you smiled at him.  
He gave you a tight smile before walking towards the door. You watched him leave and felt a part of you that you hadn't felt in while break. There was so much left to say, but you couldn’t find the words.  
“Ma’am, ma’am.”  
The baristas words broke you out of your thoughts.  
“What can I get for you today?”  
You looked at the menu, “Sorry, nothing today!”  
You turned on your heel and burst out of the cafe. You spotted Dean down the street about to start his motorcycle.  
“DEAN!” You called out breathless as you ran toward him. Right as you reach him you tripped, however instead of being smacked on the cement, strong arms held you up. You were almost nose to nose with him. Breathless, the two of you stood there for a moment. Finally, Dean let you go and you brushed yourself off.  
“What do you need, Y/N?”  
His voice sounded tired.  
Inside you questioned yourself, should you really talk to him? But you steeled yourself and spoke.  
“I can't leave things the way we did,” you gasped.  
“I can't do this,” Dean shook his head and swung a leg over his bike.  
“Dean, please,” you at clutched his arm.  
“I know what you're going to say,” he yelled in a burst of emotion, “what we had was beautiful and perfect and I went and messed it all up.”  
“Dean,” you started, but your voice left you. Tears and emotions you had never let see the light of day, pushed to come out.  
You swallowed hard, “I should’ve called more, Dean,” your voice betrayed the sadness you felt.  
“No, Y/N, you were going through hell and I-I felt abandoned, but I’m the one who fucked up,” he said bitterly.  
You didn't know what to say.  
“I loved you, Y/N, so much.”  
“I know,” you finally choked out, “I loved you too.”  
Dean wiped his seemingly dry eyes and started his bike.  
“Dean,” you called.  
He looked up at you.  
Hesitantly you kissed his cheek, “I forgive you, Dean,” you whispered in his ear.  
He kissed you forehead lovingly and a tear splashed onto your forehead.  
After he pulled away he simply gave you a quick wink and then he was gone.  
You watched his bike until you couldn't see it anymore and walked back to the coffee shop. Matthew had just driven up to the shop.  
“Hey!” He looked quizzically at you, “where's our coffee?”  
“Sorry, babe,” you kissed him, “their register broke and they were only taking cash.”  
“You look really upset for coffee” He chuckled.  
“I just really wanted some,” you said winking at him and forcibly making yourself smile, “I'm probably better off without it though.”


	7. Epilogue: It Was Rare, I Was There

_ Beep...beep...beep _

The heart rate monitor beeped next you, consistently getting slower. You could feel it, the life leaving your body. Your hands rested on the blankets on your lap. They look old, wrinkled, and worn. You had lived a good life. Matthew and you married after dating for five years. Together you ran your father’s old business. The two of you retired early in a cute little beach house by a lake. Matthew died two years ago, but you stayed in your cottage, the birds and fish kept you company. Sometimes Jess and Sam would come up and the three of you would sit on the porch in silence, looking over the lake. Even though it had been decades, seeing them always made you think of Dean. You hadn’t seen him since that one day at the coffee shop. You occasionally asked Sam and Jess about him, he worked at the shop until he took it over when he was forty. Not surprisingly, he got married, a customer who knew her way around a car. They hit off and got married three years later. They had two kids, a boy, and a girl. Dean’s life wasn’t all roses after you, though, at age 60 his wife, Eleanor, was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She passed away last year. Sam and Jess told you how Dean’s health began to plummet after her death. All you wanted to do was reach out to him, give him some support, but you worried that you would only cause him more pain. Pain, you were in pain right now. The heart rate monitor beeped even slower. You closed your eyes and let your eyes drift close. 

Morning sunlight drifted through the open window. A puffy white comforter covered you. You were in a little nest of warmth. You turned over and saw Dean sleeping. He looked so peaceful, his face carried none of the creases caused by worry and stress, his tan skin almost glowed in the sunlight. You cuddled closer to him and ran your finger through his light brown hair. Lazily, he blinked his eyes open. He crinkled his eyes shut again.

“It’s so bright,” he complained and dove his head under the covers.

You laughed, “Because it’s time to get up sleepy head,” you teased him.

The lump of blankets that housed Dean shook its head. He peeked his face out a little bit.

“You can’t make me,” he said before submerging once more, but this time he had a goal.

Warm hands found your sides and started tickling you.

“DEAN-AH,” you gasped for air and tried to beg him to stop, “DEAN WINCHESTER STOP!”

The two of you laughed and rolled around the bed until both of you were gasping for air from fits of laughter and were all tickled out. 

“You want some breakfast?” he said getting out of bed.

“Definitely,” you replied following him.

He threw one of his plaid shirts at you, it had been cast aside in a hurry last night.

“Put some clothes on, you might catch a cold,” he teased.

You made a face at him but didn’t argue. You loved wearing Dean’s flannels. They smelled all woodsy and leathery with a hint of oil. They smelled like him. 

_ beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep _

* * *

 

_ Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep _

A high pitched tone brought you out of the dream. Doctors and nurses swarmed the room, they all heard your heartbeat stop. It took you a second to realizing you were looking at yourself, dead in a hospital room. You heard the Doctor call your time of death. Strangely, you didn’t feel sad. Running out to the hallway you saw Jo walking slowly down the hallway with a coffee. She looked up when she heard the commotion. The coffee slipped from her hand and she ran to your room. You followed her back, you wanted to comfort her, tell her it was all going to be alright. A nurse brought her back out to the hallway and hugged her. You settled for a hand brushing her’s. You could have sworn she looked up right at you, but that was impossible. You wondered the hospital, peeking into rooms and trying to test out your new abilities as a ghost. You were halfway through a wall when you heard words that stopped you in your tracks.

“Mr. Winchester won’t make it through the night.”

It was just a nurse talking to a doctor.

Winchester, Dean Winchester. Could it be? You didn’t let yourself think it. You ran, as much as a ghost could, toward the nurse. Luckily, she had a clipboard with her. You scanned it frantically.

DEAN WINCHESTER 408

The words popped out at you. He was on this floor. You bolted around a corner. 403, 404, 405, the room number blended together. 408. The door was open. Dean was sleeping, he looked so much different than he did all those years ago, but you knew it was him. He still slept as peacefully, though. His heart rate monitor beeped even slower than your’s had. You walked up to him, you both had aged, but he was still as beautiful to you as he was on day one. Your heart filled with feelings you thought you had buried deeper than that. You never stop loving him, you just piled stuff on top of it. Your eyes filled with tears and grasped his hand. As you bent over him to give him a kiss on the cheek a single tear dripped from your face on his. Those beautiful green eyes opened and he gasped.

_ Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep _

“Y/N?”

You looked up from Dean’s face and saw Dean standing on the other side of the room.

“DEAN!” You cried.

The two of you ran towards each other, you collided in the middle of the room. His arms wrapped around you tightly. It didn’t matter that you were ghosts, you felt safe and warm. You felt more alive than you had in years. Doctors and nurses ran in and quickly realized there was no bringing back Dean Winchester. The two of you kissed for the first time in seventy years as a white light shone in the doorway. You broke away from the kiss and turned towards the light. Dean grabbed your hand tight and the two of you walked in, side by side. Y/N and Dean, Dean and Y/N. 


End file.
